The Homeless Horseman
I will preface this story by assuming everyone knows what the Central Park horse-driven carriages look like. You know, picturesque early 1900's looking chariots driven by inauthentic men in top hats living out some childhood rodeo or Kentucky Derby fantasy gone awry. These horse move at a snail's pace and basically look like some of the most miserable creatures on earth. And so begins my story....
I was on my way home from HK at 39th and 9th Ave; standing on the corner with my best friend and his sister visiting from the Michigan, trying to keep warm and hail a cab. From afar we hear the faint sound of clomping horses. Now this was all very confusing since a)we are no where near nature b)Central Park is a solid 20 blocks north of where we are c)the horses are kept on the far Upper West Side at night and it was about 2am.
As the sound grew louder and louder we look up 9th Ave. to find a man standing at the helm of one of these carriages with the horse GALLOPING down the street. The driver was definitely not one of the lethargic horsemen of norm, but seemed to be a homeless man who had hijacked the horse and buggy. He made a sharp right on 39th Street almost taking out my friend's sister all the while screaming, "GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU PERVERTS!!" And then he rode off into the night never to be seen again.
Sighting of My Fearless Leader
Just another random walk home from the subway: like many before, like many will be afterwards. I saw a movie set in Bryant Park (like many before, like many will be afterwards) and decided to walk by since Fashion Week is probably my favorite time of the year. I was very curious to see who was shooting with a fake fashion week tent in the background. Movie sets are a lot of hurry up and wait so I didn't think I would see anyone worth noting. I took a quick glimpse and kept on my way down 6th Avenue.
At about 40th and 6th I noticed a girl walking towards me with this crazy outfit on. This being New York and everything, I didn't think anything of it. Seriously, it looked like she was wearing two giant dirty snowballs (or dandelion puffs). She wasn't with a mass of people so I really thought nothing of it.....until I got closer. Our paths crossed and when she was about 10 feet away from me I realized......OMG IT IS SARAH JESSICA PARKER!!! IT IS CARRIE BRADSHAW!!! MY FEARLESS LEADER!!! Once I realized who she was a smile spread across my face that I could not have possibly controlled. She looked at me and smiled back in a silent "I know you are a huge fan and thank you for now attacking me with cameras and praises" kind of way. As soon as it was over I had to stop by the first place I knew that had wireless internet and let me partner in crim (and fellow SATC devotee) know who I had seen.
This has easily been my favorite sighting over the past year and half. Sex and the City changed the way women think about everything from fashion to boys to shoes to careers. The show was one of my huge inspirations to move to New York, and seeing Sarah Jessica Parker was really the icing on the Maglolia cupcake. The only thing that would have topped this is if Carrie had been walking down the street with Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte.....I think I would have passed out.
Anna Wintour, Eat Your Heart Out
Halloween has never been so fabulous.
The Legend
The Inspiration
The Reality
The Legend
The Inspiration
The Reality
Marc Jacobs Loves Pigs
Happy Halloween from the Marc Jacobs store on Bleecker. Shield the eyes of your kids lest they turn into vegetarians immediately. Is Marc trying to tell us a) Happy Halloween b) meat is murder or c) he is Jewish. I'm not really sure, but I can tell you that pig was not done off in a kosher way. I can't wait till Sexy Santa comes back for pics this December!
CP30's Dream Woman
While walking down 25th Street every day, I always laugh a little to myself at this mannequin shop half way down the block. In the window is the most redeculous mannequin I have ever seen (and I am totally creeped out by them the way others get nervous around clowns or Halloween masks). I think to myself, "Aw, this is CP30's dream woman." This mannequin spends her days staring down to the street below like a gold plated Rapunzel wishing to be rescued.
Dove Onslaught Viral Video
Unilever hits us with another look at the beauty industry. But wait.....arent they in the beauty industry? Last time I checked they produce self tanning, anti-aging, volumizing, and firming products. Love the skin you're in!
Fat-Asses of the World Unite!
Does the thought of narrow stadium seats make you cringe? The thought of hard plastic cutting into your flesh, muffin tops spilling over the arm rests to the horror and dismay of your neighbors? Well fear not fatties, organizers of the 2012 Olympics in London are accomodating you by ordering wider seats for the stadiums. I find this raises a serious question though...Should society condone this "flabberization" of its population?
Check out the article:
Do Bigger Chairs Make Bigger Butts
Raisin Face takes on the Devil who wears Prada
Raisin-face Rachel Zoe is at it again....getting a little too big for her size 00 britches. This time she has taken on my beloved Anna Wintour, Vogue editor and basically the compass of the fashion industry. Guess what honey, the trailer trash that reads US Weekly (where your clients are most prominently featured) want's to find your picks at H&M or Forever 21. Anna on the other hand is a style beacon, a lighthouse in the monstrous sea of designers transcending fashion, celebrity, and philanthropy. Zoe needs to get herself back in line immediately. Speaking of lines.....learn something from Anna, and cover up those canyons with some bangs.
WWD
Published: Thursday, September 13, 2007
WHO’S BIGGER?: Rachel Zoe has never been known for having a small ego, but who knew she considered herself the most important woman in fashion. “Anna Wintour is one of my heroes, but they say I’m more influential,” Zoe tells Lynn Hirschberg in this Sunday’s issue of The New York Times Magazine. “As great as it is, Vogue won’t change a designer’s business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week.”
Arrogant? Perhaps. But she’s certainly making a comparable salary to the famed editor in chief. According to Hirschberg, the stylist makes roughly $6,000 a day, which is generally paid for by the movie studios when her clients have movies to promote for them. And others are clearly interested in her services as well, among them the Bravo network, which is reportedly in talks with Zoe about doing a show for them. — Jacob Bernstein
Who wants to be the next Paris Hilton???
Ah, the continued downfall and deterioration of our society. Speaking of society....this is exactly the thing future Paris's and Niclole's of the world need to propel them into the limelight (DUI, jail time, and pregnancy are so hot right now). Truthfully, any socialite worth her salt doesn't need a reality TV show to make it happen for herself, and anyone with a reputable family would be locked in the dungeon of the estate before going on a TV show like this. My prediction is that it will be littered with d-list socialites and the hanger's on who wish they were.....makes for good TV though since they are hungry to claw their way to the top and obviously must whore themeslves out to do so.
PS - My guess is that the "reigning socialite princess" is none other than our nemisis, Tinsley Mortimer
Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2007 13:59:54
To:"Avo Yermagyan"
Subject: ANNOUNCING NATIONWIDE SEARCH FOR SOCIETY GIRLS LOOKING TO BECOME THE NEXT "IT GIRL" -
Gaudy PR
Please see the Press Release, included below:
____________________________________
For Immediate Release
ANNOUNCING NATIONWIDE SEARCH FOR SOCIETY GIRLS
LOOKING TO BECOME THE NEXT "IT GIRL"
(September 2007) Beverly Hills, CA - Doron Ofir Casting, in
association with The Mottola Company and 25/7 Productions have begun
casting for a fierce new television series searching for America's
most ambitious, driven, stylish, and socially conscious young
debutantes of pedigree, who wish to propel their careers and causes
onto the world stage, while being led by New York's reigning socialite
princess.
This exclusive invitation is being presented to America's elite
debutantes and is the chance that every aspiring "it girl" dreams of.
"I'm excited to bring this coveted opportunity to these aspiring it
girls across the nation..." said Doron Ofir, President of Doron Ofir
Casting, when asked about the search, he continues, "...We are seeking
the future female leaders who will reign with unstoppable zeal,
unprecedented style, and an unwavering dedication to philanthropy.
These upwardly-mobile young women should be at least 21 years of age,
appear under 26, and have the determination to make their mark on the
most important social scene in the world, New York City. This is not
an open casting call. This is for a very select few".
The yet to be revealed society powerhouse, New York's reigning
socialite princess, will choose one exemplary protege out of 10
formidable ingenues, to be awarded this life changing experience. The
special girl will network her way through New York City's social
labyrinth and get on the radar by impressing the judges with her
sophistication, beauty, and social awareness. By joining this
exclusive Manhattan Sorority, she will be invited to the city's most
glamorous happenings and events, coiffed and styled by the best, and
have the chance to secure her place in the world of high society,
deeming her worthy of the sought after title of "It Girl".
For more information on this search, to be considered as a
participant, or to nominate a friend, please visit:
www.societygirlcasting.com
For additional inquiries, please e-mail: societygirlcasting@gmail.com
or contact Paisley Baker, Doron Ofir Casting: 310.467.3007.
###
Cheers!
Avo Yermagyan
Gaudy PR
Soho Art Parade
If you do nothing else this weekend chisel out some time around 4pm on Saturday to head down to Soho for the Deitch Projects Art Parade. It is wild, crazy, hillarious, and oh so much fun; costumes and artistic performances abound. I promise not to dissapoint. I just happened to come across this event last summer, and once I knew the date of the 2007 parade I actually put it in my day planner so I would not miss it. This is the event to close the summer, dear readers....don't miss it.
Deitch Projects Art Parade - Saturday, Sept 8th @ 4pm
Parade goes down West Broadway from Houston to Grand
Free Eats on the LES
Best deal in the city for those on a shoestring budget.....or those who have been shopped out of house and home by the end of the Barneys Warehouse Sale (as I was this past weekend). I will literally be an old woman who lived in her shoes, but thanks to the new Whole Foods on Houston and Bowrey I will be able to feast on all the free samples at the Wednesday night "Block Party". That's right, from 6-8pm every Wednesday give your palate a workout and your pocketbook a rest. Delve into culinary delights such as exotic cheese, sweets, breads, and meats. All food groups are represented so get thee to Whole Foods and have a well balanced meal on them!
Beauty Queen has reasoning ability of 6 year old
This is so completely embarrassing I just had to share. Kudos to the great state of South Carolina and their amazing educational system for giving birth to this amazingly awful answer to a question that one really can't get wrong. I just feel bad for this child. As stated in Billy Madison, we are all now less intelligent for hearing this answer.
Not Just for Tourists - Coney Island
Step right up, step right up folks! Come see the amazing wonderment that is Coney Island. Word on the street is that it's the last summer for this century-old playground so hop on the Q train and see it before it becomes luxury highrises. Granted, if not for the historical presence this dump would have been torn down a long time ago. It is full of creaky, old amusement park rides, creepy carnies, and a crowd mixed with tourists and the pickpockets who love them. Here are my top "to-dos" for your Coney Island trip.
1. You MUST go to the freak show/sideshow act. Sadly, this was the main reason I wanted to go out there. Who doesn't want to see a man drive a nail through his head, a firebreather, a sword swallower, or a dude with his face completely covered in hair who also happens to be a tightrope walker. Seriously, if you go to Coney Island for an hour this is what you have to do....this is Americana at its finest.
2. Get ready for the rush of nitrates and the smell of all things fried...you must have a Nathan's hotdog. Forget the pathetic stand on the boardwalk; go to the original location across the street from the subway stop (and closer to the freak show). The hotdogs are actually quite good and as my mom says, she like the dogs where the skin that snaps when you bite into it. Nasty, but critical in the hotdog experience. Stroll to the side of the building to check out the Nathan's Hotdog Eating Contest wall of fame. Listen to your gastrointestinal tract churn as you read the number of dogs consumed. What I don't understand is how the hell the winning number went from like 9 in 1987 to 66 in 2007. What happened in 20 years that has allowed man to consume over 6 times the number of hot dogs in 12 minutes. Seriously, all you need is one.
3. Bring you swim suit and towel because the freak show and eating a hot dog will only take about an hour and 10 minutes....there is a beach at Coney Island. Granted the waves are miniscule and the sand is a bit industrial, but there are tons of beach volleyball courts, scantily clad co-eds and a wonderful boardwalk that stretches to Brighton Beach where you can pick up the Q and return to lovely Manhattan.
www.coneyisland.com
Celeb Sighting - Tori Spelling & Fam
Celeb Sighting - Tori Spelling with hubby Dean and little tot Liam walking down West Broadway this past Saturday. As a child of the 90210 generation, I loved this sighting. PS - Her husband is freaking HOT.....and no, I did not take this pic.
The Bourne Ultimatum
Go see The Bourne Ultimatum immediately. It's not the cliche summer action flick you are expecting; The Bourne series always has a great story, amazing locales, and this one doesn't have a sappy love interest (which is nice for once). Here is the jist: Jason realizes something has gone very wrong with the "program" he is involved in....he wants to find out who started it, and who made him the desensitized killing machine he has become. I love how they filmed a good chunk of the car chase when he is in the NYPD car in my 'hood. Just look for the shots of the Organic Market and Chipotle. Now I understand whey they basically shut down my street for 4 days filming that thing.....at times they wouldn't even let anyone walk out of their apartments. ....Baby it's hot outside, so let Jason Bourne (aka David Webb) cool you off.
My New Toy
I have a new addition to my family......yesterday I brought home a mac. Endless hours of fun, procrastination and creativity are in my future. I am not exactly sure what this will mean for ScapeNY, but I am certain there will be funny pictures and movies of me at a bare minimum. Be prepared dear readers.....this is about to get muy caliente!
Mannequin Orgy on 5th Ave!
You never would guess what goes on behind the closed doors of the Kenneth Cole dressing room on 5th Ave. I noticed a strange door in the dressing room when I was there recently, and in my quest for constant amusement and curiosity I opened the door only to discover the seedy underground doings of a mannequin orgy in full force! Limbs, breasts, lumps, and pouches entwined in a naked soiree of plastic perfection. It's a good thing there weren't any child mannequins being exposed to this hidden nudist colony...it would have been necessary to alert the authorities immediately. Celeb Sighting - Lisa Rinna
Lisa Rinna spotted at Broadway and 24th Street. She is in NYC for a brief stint in the musical, Chicago, with her husband Harry Hamlin. I think she has had the same suburban Tony & Guy meets Sally Hershberger hair cut for the past decade, so if that didn't give it away, it was the freakishly inflated lips. It is painful to see those things in real life. It is like Angelina Jolie's mouth on steroids without chapstick (her lips are kinda wrinkly). Anyways, she has a great body so I will give her major props for that.
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