Happy Halloween!!

The air is getting brisk, it's getting dark earlier, and NYC is becoming so incredibly spooky....because it's Halloween! Much congratulations to Jordan who won my first annual pumpkin carving contest with his Marie Antoinette pumpkin. Tres chic mon ami!

In honor of one of my favorite holidays, here are some great things to do today.

1) Blood Manor haunted house at 27th between 10th and 11th - It's $25 bucks, but you can pay and extra 10 bones and skip the wait. Well worth it considering all the Carmine Gotti cronies in line. Check it out.
2) Village Halloween Parade - I have never been to this before, but if it is anything like Chicago's parade there will be tons of freaks and weirdos out, and it's a perfect excuse for gay guys to bring out their inner trannie.
3) Release your inner child - Buy fart bombs at all the Halloween shops in the Village. Always a good time and a great way to clear out a room. Be sure to stock up.
4) Eat as much Halloween candy as possible - We can all go back on the salad and Diet Coke diet tomorrow.

Happy Halloween!!

Madge = Ice Queen to the nth degree

So, I finally got around to watching Madonna's interview on Oprah from last Wednesday. I knew Madge doesn't exactly emanate the 'warm and cozies' but good god, she was a total ice queen to say the least. And, the pallor of her skin didn't help the situation. She needs a little swipe of the Nars Laguna stat. I almost felt uncomfortable watching the interview. Now, I am a huge fan of Madonna (I went to MSG to see her twice this summer, and it was worth every last penny), but she definitely didn't win any PR points. It is unfortunate how the media has skewed her adoption, and I know she was on the show for not-so-fun circumstances....Anyways, check it out for yourself. If anything I love to hear her Brit-glish.

Rain Rain Go Away

So, it's raining out today and looking mighty nasty...Here are my top 10 things to do when it's gross outside in the city where you have to leave your apartment for everything. I will go in order of what kills the most time:

1- museum (yes, you and all other New Yorkers think of this AND all the tourists in town)
2- movie (it's a good bang for the buck at $11 for roughly 2 hours)
3- brunch (get wasted..you are in no rush)
4- nap (it doesn't have to be raining to do this, but it just feels so good)
5- mani/pedi (the only thing in NYC that is cheaper here than anywhere else)

Put Some Meat on Those Bones!

Horray for Nicole Richie who has decided to check herself in to a rehab clinic to gain weight responsibly (not for an eating disorder). As sexy as that sternum is, I think it may be time to cover it up a little. Maybe she will inspire her skeletal pal Kate Bosworth to jump on the band wagon. I am sure she is tired of shopping in the Kids section at Fred Segal. Come sit at the "Adult's Table" girls!

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Socialite Nicole Richie, whose rail-thin appearance in recent photos has stoked tabloid speculation of an eating disorder, has checked into a treatment facility to address her inability to gain weight, her publicist said Thursday.

"She is working with a team of doctors and specialists whose focus is nutrition," spokeswoman Nicole Perna said in a statement. "It is important to Nicole that she achieves this goal in a healthy way as this is not a treatment for an eating disorder."

Richie, the 25-year-old daughter of singer Lionel Richie, has publicly acknowledged her obvious loss of weight in recent months, telling Vanity Fair magazine: "I know I'm too thin right now. ... I'm not happy with the way I look."

And she told People magazine that "stress" over the breakup with her former fiance had briefly affected her eating habits. But she has vehemently denied as "rumor" media reports suggesting she suffered from an eating disorder.

Her admission to the unidentified facility has forced a delay in production of the latest installment of her popular TV reality show, "A Simple Life," producers said.

Postponement of the show came weeks after Richie and her "Simple Life" co-star, hotel heiress Paris Hilton, ended a feud that had kept the two on nonspeaking terms for over a year.

"We wish her a speedy recovery and fully expect the series will resume production at some point, hopefully in the near future," said Chris Alexander, a spokesman for 20th Century Fox Television

Samantha is a Man!

I really needed something to make me laugh today....and Sex and the City always does the trick. I love this SNL skit...gotta love Christina Aguillera as Samantha.

Wednesday Fun

I absolutely love the Art Parade in Soho every summer....let's pretend it is warm outside again

Short Bus Spermination

Guys, you may think all that text messaging is just a harmless way to kill time on the subway/train/airport, but watch out.....it might cause you to have some little swimmers that got straight off the short bus. Check out this article to find out why it might not be such a great idea to have your phone too close to your crotch.

Click it!

Only horse these boots will see is in Central Park

Thank God...it is looking like the Ugg boot fiasco has come to an end (at least until it gets really cold out). I absolutely love the riding boot phenomena that has swept over NYC in the past month or so. I don't know whether to blame Madonna's horsey theme on the Confessions tour, or Laura from Project Runway. I am obsessed though. Not only does it look incredibly chic, but it looks great with skinny jeans or leggings (which can masquerade as riding-style dressage pants). And, I'm not going to lie....it is way more comfortable to troll around the West Village all day in flat shoes. Honey, these boots are getting NOWHERE near a horse.

Just Not Meant for the Suburbs

Every morning on the subway I see these great ads for Manhattan Mini Storage (lame I know) and the tag line is "You're Just Not Meant for the Suburbs". I always have a little giggle to myself over them mainly because a) I am so not a suburbs person, b) I grew up in the suburbs of Dallas so I am allowed to laugh at it, and c) I have seen those scenarios in action first hand.

My two favorites are the trailer park dudes sitting in their front lawn wearing wife beaters and looking like they are one step above the double wide they use to live in (once again I hearken back to my Texas days where my neighbor actually had a shell of a hot tub in his backyard for a few years and an old rusty, brown van in front of his house), and the other ad has a guy is swatting at a giant wasps nest with a tennis racket (our dads all have done this at one time or another with dire consequences).

Regardless, it makes me really appreciate that I live in Manhattan even if it involves making myself believe that $900k for 1br apartment is a pretty good deal, thinking it is perfectly ok to get drunk on Sunday afternoon at brunch, and aspiring to have a house in the Hamptons (Montauk is not the Hamptons). Haha.

Bobble Head.......

Seriously, I want to tie Kate Bosworth down and force feed her hot fudge sundaes. Clavicles are not the latest accessory. Jesus. I just hear here meager little voice whimpering....feed me.....feeeeeeeed me.

Is that hot chick REALLY a girl? Take the quiz.

So you think you have mastered the skill of Gay-dar, well is your Tranny-dar up to par? Take the quiz and brush up on your skills. Let me know how you do. Living in NYC I feel like I see trannies all the time, but I only got 10 out of 16 correct...and I AM a girl. Ouch. At least I am not into chicks...that could be an eye-opener. Enjoy!

Take the Quiz

This is why we don't go to New Jersey

This, my friends, is why we don't do bourough, let alone New Jersey. By all means stay on the island..

Bloomberg's Car Stolen, Aide Beaten By Thieves
Vehicle Found, Cops Looking For A Man And A Woman

Candis Cayne is My Hero

The hottest and most entertaining tranny in NYC. Candis really looks like a girl, and is always gorgeous. No one can work a rotating fan like she can. If you have not gone out to Opus 22 on Sunday nights to check her out. If you want to see a man dressed as a woman doing high-kicks, splits, directing traffic, and balling up dollar bills you won't be dissapointed.

Mint Up Your Mouth

I discovered CO Bigelow Mentha Lip Shine in Chicago, and it has become a staple inall my bags. So, I was way too excited about moving to NYC and being able to go to the original location (started in 1838) at 6th Ave and 9th Street. I would now be able to get my nectar right from the source! I have the old standard, clear, and an whole array of tinted ones. This mint-infused lip gloss/balm smells great and give your lips a super high gloss. The peppermint supposedly freshens breath, but in reality you end up licking it off your lips (yum). I also love how it is in the squeeze tube. The last thing I want to do after riding the subway is stick my nasty fingers in a pot of gloss then touch my lips. Hello grossness! If I were stranded on a desert island I would only hope to have this with me. And....if there was a McDreamy on the island I am sure he would appreciate my minty fresh breath and super shiny lips.

Get it now....

Like Sesame Street for Adults

Puppets swearing, watching Internet porn, telling racist jokes, showing furry puppet boobs, and HAVING SEX....what's not to love about Avenue Q. I know this show came out a few years ago, but I just saw it this weekend with my parents. It was absolutely hilarious: from songs about everyone being a "little bit racist" to watching two puppets pound each other after downing long island ice teas to the landlord being Gary Coleman. The show follows Princeton, a new college grad in his search for finding his purpose in life while navigating his new neighbors in NYC including a monster addicted to porn, a slutty lounge singer, closet gay "Odd Couple" type roommates, and many others. The show is great in that all the characters are played by puppets which can get away with a hell of a lot more scandal than real people (even though the person working the puppet is saying/singing everything). And...the best part was that my parents though it was great too.

One Night Stand - The Windy City

So you are trapped in Chicago for 24 hours for work, wedding, family reunion, insert lame reason for traveling here. You might as well make the most of your time assuming the weather isn't so cold that you feel like your face is going to fall off. Trust me..I lived there for 2 years, and it does get like that. So, here are my top picks for a day in Chicago that doesn't involve touristy BS. Do it like the locals:

1- For you athletic types a run along Lake Michigan is essential. Thew view is gorgeous.

2- Brunch at Gibsons (Rush and Elm) - Great food and much less cheeseball than Tavern on Rush across the street. They don't call it the Viagara Triangle for nothing.

3- Afternoon in Lincoln Park/Wrigleyville - Take the Brown Line to Armitage and meander your way up Halstead Street. You will find tons of great boutiques including a Barney's Coop and get a taste of the DePaul crowd. You can either keep going north on Halstead to see Boys Town(if are accompanied by boyz- with a 'z'), or make a left on Clark and check out Wrigley Field (definitley for straight guys who like beer and hot dogs/nachos).

4- Dinner at Blackbird (Randolph and Jefferson) - THE best restaurant in the Chicago. Make a resie though cause it is a small place and books up fast. Check it.

5- Booze it up true Chizzle frat boy style at McFaddens (Rush/Division). Do like the Chicagoans and drink beer, listen to White Snake, and pretend you are in college with a paycheck.

ENJOY!

Be a Glamour Diva for $22

I can't rave enough about DiorShow mascara, and I would literally scream from the rooftops about how much I love it. It is thick and goopy (but goopy in a luxurious and sexy way) and makes you look like you could possibly be wearing fake lashes without the messy glue or the threat of waking up with a band of lashes half-hanging off your eye. Not sexy. It lengthens, separates, volumizes, and any of those other buzz words the makeup industry uses. I totally feel like a 40's film glamour diva when I use it. So worth the $22. Being a gloss and mascara girl, I have tried many-a-mascaras in my time, but I always keep going back to this--or cursing myself for trying something else. This is a crucial tool in any make-up arsenal!

Let the eat cake?

I am currently reading this great biography: Marie-Antoinette - The Journey by Antonia Fraser.Obviously, I am getting reved up for Sofia Coppola's upcoming film.

I really feel like it is my obligation to end the proliferation of this urban legend concerning the "Let them eat cake" affair. This phrase is ingrained in our culture to reference all kinds of social injustices and used as a journalistic headline to make people feel smarter (being versed in historical events somehow makes one feel more intelligent). Actually, this little snipe was first said by a Spanish princess who married Louis XIV a hundred years before the arrival of Marie-Antoinette in France. The catchy phrase was used by a series of other princesses throughout the 18th century, but not by Marie-Antoinette who was very philanthropic and good-natured in her quest to win the acceptance of the people of France.

Moral of the story: Everyone loves a villain, and when your head is snapped off by a guillotine you obviously aren't around to defend your integrity.

Dude, You're Getting a Dell

The normal Sunday night crew converged on Tortilla Flats, the local haven known for lethal margaritas, so-so mexican food, and Sunday night Trivial Pursuit (with tequila shots as prizes for the winners).

Our waiter was friends with Zoe, and after chatting it up for a few minutes we knew we were in the midst of a pop culture celebrity. That is right....our waiter was the Dell Dude. You know those Dell commercials from a few years ago with Steven, the guy who tells people, "Dude, you're getting a Dell." Anyways, the campaign was wildly popular and a huge success for Dell.

Poor Steven was dropped from his contract after getting busted buying pot in NYC. I have the exclusive scoop straight from the horse's mouth: So, he was an acting student at NYU while doing the Dell commercials. Dell said they would work around his school schedule but then didn't. He missed so many days of class shooting commercials (not smoking gaunj) that he flunked out of school due to sheer number of absences. Then, after the run-in with the law, Dell dropped him from his contract, and therefore he had no money to pay for school. So now he is working at Tortilla Flats and lives in Williamsburg. He also obviously didn't learn his lesson, because he joined one of my friends for a little nose powdering in the bathroom.

Lesson of the day: Everyone loves a comeback story!! You can do it Ben!!