US Weekly....Lawyers, it's time to staff up


Is it just me, or have the covers of the past few US Weekly's been quite brazen.....almost to the verge of slander? I would say it's pretty incriminating when your face is plastered on the cover with the title "Hollywood's Drug Problem" or that your life resembles Rosemary's Baby. The celebrity PR spiral must be out of control right now. But hey, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Keep those second rate starlets in the spotlight! Who cares that Lindsay's best movie was Mean Girls a million years ago, Katie married Tom cruise because she has been a huge nobody since Dawson's Creek ended, or Britney is in a glorified sanitorium. Keep the covers flowing!

Sara Story - Congrats on Domino!

Fools on Top Design eat your heart out! My fabulous friend Sara Story (aka interior designer extraordinaire) has been named #1 on Domino magazine's list of "Top 10 Decorators on the Verge." Her work is absolutely amazing mixing inspiration from travels abroad, classic styling, and a always incorporating an interesting edge. Definitely check her out in Domino this month. Congrats again!!

Check out Sara Story Design


The Subway Stalker...just tryin to make a buck

I was recently on the subway; traveling to work one morning in my usual AM haze. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a fellow sitting a few feet away from me. He was definitely not on his way to work: somewhere in between stinky bum sleeping across the entire row of seats and weird guy on his way to his job as a professional swindler selling snake oil. I saw him look at me for a few seconds...look down....look at me a few seconds...look down... This went on for a few minutes. Since everyone is trained not to look weirdness in the eye for fear it will channel its energy upon you (especially in a moving subway car where you are trapped until the next stop) I held out as long as possible. However, when someone is noticeably staring at you, one wonders if there is a rogue booger, bug, or the like on one's face. I looked at the man and noticed that he was drawing my profile. Definitely no Renoir, but more on par with a high school art student with high aspirations. He asked which stop I was getting off, and I immediately said the next stop regardless of having to wait for the next train to get to my final destination. I was not going to spend another half hour waiting for Rembrant to finish his charcoal sketch. As I exited the subway he handed me my portrait and let me know that donations would be appreciated. Well, considering this is the artistic equivalent of getting ambushed by squeegee men while in your car (and I only had a $20 bill) he remained empty handed and one piece of paper lighter. Flattering, yet intensely creepy.

Who needs the Easter Bunny when you have the Spring Chick

It is a beautiful day here in NYC. Babs, Jordan, and the Spring Chick from the Marc Jacob's store on Bleecker wish you a wonderful spring! I guess a nice Jewish boy like Marc wouldn't go for something as un-p.c. as the Easter bunny. Regardless, how much fun is it to get a pic taken with a giant bird. Hehe.

The only thing cheaper in NYC

From living in NYC you expect almost everything to be astronomically priced. This is the city where the average one-bedroom apartment is $1.2 million, cocktails are commonly $15 a pop, and spending $30 a person at dinner is a complete steal. The ONE thing that is cheaper in NYC than anywhere else is getting manicures and pedicures. You can literally pay $20-$30 bucks and get a mani AND pedi. The other thing I love about the nail places here is that it is a complete faux pas to get trailer park acrylic nails and, therefore, the places do not smell like a meth lab. It is a completely relaxing indulgence on the cheap, and makes me feel like a million bucks (or a $1.2 millon apartment).

Check out Soho Nails on W. Broadway btwn Houston and Prince for the fabulous $20 mani and pedi. Stellar.

Proper Undergarmets - 1

Ok, this will be the first installment in my series about proper undergarments. I hope to rid the earth of pantie faux pas one crotch at a time. The stories you are about to hear are true....the names have been changed to protect the offenders.

Lesson #1 - Boy Shorts

Ladies, while you are getting ready for a night out you must ask yourself two questions when deciding upon undergarments.....a)If by chance I were to trip and fall and my dress went up around my head what would people see? b) Will I be engaging in any activity where a situation like that has higher probability of occurring (ie- booze, drugs, sky-high stilettos etc)?

My dear friend Henrietta* bought this fabulous pink slip dress from Intermix to wear to dinner with the guy she is dating and a few of our other close friends. Henrietta is a very petite girl to say the least and has the tendency of getting a little intoxicated on a few drinks....When you weight 80 pounds a few glasses of vino will do that to you. Anyways, after 5 bottles of Rose at dinner (shared by 5 people, give me a break) she was well on her way to becoming "that girl". Now, we all know "that girl" and the majority of us have been "that girl" at one point or another. Needless to say her dress barely covered her behind and unfortunately she was wearing thong. After dinner we went to a friend's apartment for a little pre-game before the bar where we all continued to party. Henrietta made one bad move....we see it all the time from britney, lindsay, and the like....the moment you let your guard down is when the paparazzi start flashing their cameras. She carelessly sat on this boy's lap (not her bf), and in her drunkenness moved her legs in a very unladylike fashion. AND THERE IT WAS. Henrietta's misplaced thong coupled with a fresh Brazilian wax gave the entire room a full view of her bare crotch...in a room full of gay boys none the less this was quite a site. She was way too drunk to realize what happened, but the image will be burned into our brains forever.

The moral of the story is.....when wearing a dress which hits above the knee, please go with the boy short. Unless you are a stripper, britney/paris wannabe, or just escaped from a nudist colony, leave the thong at home.


Fountain

This didn't happen on the subway exactly, but I really have no idea where else to post it. Haha. St. Patty's day is pretty wild in NYC, but I never knew to what extremes people took it. It turns into an entire weekend affair, as I learned last night around 8:30pm while I was walking up 6th Ave to go to dinner. There, in what I can only describe as an act of drunken desperation, I saw a grown woman pull her pants down and squat over a sewer drain at the corner of 48th and 6th. No, she didn't go hide in an alley or doorway to do her dastardly deed, but in the street right off the curb for all to see. As the steam billowed from the vent one could make out a stream of pee coming from the squatting lady's crotch. I even think I caught a glimpse of toilet paper stuck on her butt. I will forever be traumatized by this site, and hope to God I am never in that situation. On the bright side, at least she had the courtesy to pee over the drain. Gross.

In Vogue

I discovered this book while I was sipping my frothy cappuccino on the fabulous Hermes orange couch at Garren last weekend, and I was increasingly infatuated with every turn of the page. In Vogue chronicles the history of Vogue magazine, easily the most influential fashion 'zine of all time. Not only is it one of those gorgeous giant coffee table books (which I am obsessed with), but it is a complete history of the magazine. Also featured are memorable fashion spreads over the past 100+ years; everything from early illustrations (before mass-printed photography) to 60s socialites to 80s glamazons to the present. I love flipping through and remembering seeing certain photos in the magazine (I don't read Vogue...I study it). This is a must-have for any Vogue junkie....absolutely fascinating.




Naked Dancing Men

If you are a male and are in need of a humbling experience please visit The 20 Club on Sunday night. My latest non-hetero adventure took me to a gay strip club. I had been to regular (ie- women with guys watching) strip clubs a few times in college, and wound up critiquing the stripper's moves with my female cohorts like I was a judge at a Julliard admittance performance meets Joan Rivers and the fashion police. Never though, had I been to a club where the guys were doing the stripping. The entire premise in going was to steak out a friend we heard was dancing on the side and laugh uncontrollably while he stripped down to his euro-style undies and gave dirty old men lap dances.

I arrived with three guys and my two girlfriends (never before had the ratio been so even), and after the $20 cover and $3 coat check, and a $10 Corona we were in the disco ball, black light, velvet chair laden space. Then came the strippers...one after the other on the main stage: each with is own shtick, and most looking greasy and quite bridge and tunnel. There was a cowboy, two soldiers in camo (who were the hottest), gangsters, guidos, bodybuilders, and even a wrestler complete with unitard and ear covers. Now, I have seen my share of the male anatomy from time to time, but some of these guys were completely out of control...I mean you take one look at that and all you can say is, "No, there is no way." It was a freak show. Some of them could have been right next to the bearded lady and the lizard man at the circus.

So, after the initial shock wore off we actually had a great time. It turns out that half of the guys are straight, and I think my girlfriend got the digits from one of the dancers. Hot. A guy wearing a Tarzan-style loin cloth even voiced his hatred of giving lap dances to gross old men to my roommate. Two of my boys got dances (one was from our friend...awkward), and I was brave enough to venture to the stage and stick dollar bills in my friend's g-string when he was dancing. I am not going to lie...."Matt" is the cutest dancer there.

Overall, we did make baby Jesus cry by going to a gay strip club on a Sunday, but we had a damn good time and saw some much needed hot boys without shirts (or pants for that matter).

PS boys- Take off your socks when you are stripping. Not hot!

The 20 Club - 20th btwn 5th and 6th

2k

Today is awesome...not only did I launch the blog on www.scapeny.com (screw the lame blogspot address) but I also passed 2000 impressions since the I started writing. Thanks so much! You all have made my week. :-)

The Transformation Continues

Tomorrow I revist my wonderful friend Jordan Sparkes at Garren. The transformation continues....we are moving from mid-90's Linda Evangelista to a less severe Victoria Beckham (sans exposed clavicles and creepy breast implants that look like ziplock bags filled with pudding).

More to come....

Proud Day...........

Today is a proud day in the life of ScapeNY......I am now on the web at www.scapeny.com. Soooo stick it in your favs, make it your homepage, whatever. Huge smiles on this side of the laptop.

- babs

Vogue's Oscars Top 10


Finally, Vogue comes out with their Oscar Fashion top 10. The Oscars are so two weeks ago, and I am not sure anyone really cares anymore. I agree with all but the sorry #2 Kirsten Dunst received for the runway-does-not-equal-redcarpet greatness Chanel she wore. Looks like my lovely Anna Wintour is still getting sexual favors from Karl Lagerfeld (which is really disgusting when you think about it). Haha. PS-Reese's hair is so fierce!

Check out the list

Mommy.....When I Grow Up.............

Screw doctors, lawyers and astronauts.....the socialite is the way to go. Who doesn't want to go to the most fab parties, wear fab clothes, and hang with the most fab people? Don't know where to start? Welcome to your official guide to breaking into the inner circle (even if you live in a dump and wear DSW shoes). Like I always say...perception is reality.

How to become a socialite...

Socialite Rank outs Frick bathroom bandits!

I love my dear Socialite Rank just about as much as the society tartlets at the Frick Collection Ball love their nose candy. Looks like I need to pull up Adobe Illustrator Perez-Hilton style and add some white leftovers.....Tasty! Let's hope the Tinz kept it clean (she will get enough shit for the furn trim...watch out for the PETA pies!)

Check it out...

Kiss Kiss


To Babs--the prettiest girl in the room.

Your new pal-
Patrick McMullan

Patrick McMullan KISS KISS book signing party @ Bo Concept



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