Help! I'm Romantically Involved With My Vespa

Well, isn't this a romantic sight on Thompson Street at 9am on a Thursday morning. Someone hearts their Vespa....or the person riding it.

You Know You're Thin When #1

You know you're ridiculously thin when.....the ankle strap of your stilettos look like bangle bracelets on anorexic wrists. Watch out for flying shoes and twisted ankles!

Gorgeous Blamain Spring '09 number, though. Bravo!

2009 Met Costume Institute Gala--The Worst of the Worst

I hate to be a nasty shrew (oh wait, no i don't), but Louis Vuitton dressed the worst of the worst at last night's Met Costume Institute Gala. The scary thing is that no one leaves the house thinking they look awful, so I also have to fault these mal-dressed mix-ups and their handlers who played a game of "The Emperor's New Clothes". I would advise these ladies to never be nasty to their assistant, PR rep, or stylist ever again....this is what awaits you--the fast track to the worst dressed list. Thankfully for their careers, normal humans aren't scouring the slideshow on Style.com (all 146 pictures of it). Just another instance of the runway to reality disparity....even if you are on a red carpet.

Check out all the pics here.

Talk About Men at Work

One of these things is not like the other....Hmmm, I see construction equipment, traffic cones, parking meter, scaffolding, mannequin head----MANNEQUIN HEAD???!!! Just another wonderful Saturday stroll in my NYC neighborhood. I guess they didn't want the machinery to get lonely over the weekend. That, or they have some freaky Weird Science fantasy. Our tax dollars at work, my friends.

I Love NY Mag's Reasons to Love New York

I just love how I always end up reading New York Magazine's "Reasons to Love New York" issue while I am in Texas for the Holidays. Reading this every year (or the past three Holidays I have been a resident of NYC) makes me pine for the smelly streets, the crowded sidewalks, and the guy with the gangrenous foot at the downtown 76th street 6 train stop (I swear that thing is a fake foot to get money...it has looked the same for the past year and a half, no lie). Besides the great little snippets on why real writers love NY, my favs are the ones submitted online by readers. Below are the standouts of 2008, mainly because I could have written them about myself.

No. 2- "Because it loves me! I was born and raised in Texas and moved to New York City when I was 25--twelve years ago. In Texas, I was thought to be difficult, hardheaded, controlling, opinionated, bitchy, etc. when I moved here, all of a sudden I was considered sweet, polite, kind, intelligent, etc. I know I didn't change--I was just free from the South's idea of how a woman should behave." by Angela Landon

No. 33- "Because every time you visit another U.S. city, you instantly realize how attractive and sophisticated you really are. It is so easy to get laid as a New Yorker out of town. Easier than Brooklyn, even." by Brawndo

No. 54- "Because when people find out I am single, they don't look at me in a way that is the perfect combination of horror and pity." by Carla Stockton

Finally, I have to give props to my all time favorite from 2007...that we have single-handedly turned Starbucks into our own network of public restrooms.

For all the other amazing reasons to love NYC click here.

Posh Spice New Hair Revealed

Screw the Fug Girls....Victoria Beckham in on point as ever! Pic snagged from Perez. I would never use a phrase like "Hawt'....It should be "Haute" you fat doof.

Posh Spice New Do...saga continues

I can't find any pics online yet, but this does not sound promising. HEY, there is no such thing as bad publicity.

NY Mag Fug Girls
Inside Marc Jacobs: Posh Spice Hair Emergency!
9/8/08 at 9:13 PM
Comment 00Comment 00Comments

Our correspondents have just arrived! They report: "We just got here; the runway has a line of zigzagging mirrors down the center. It looks like the finale of A Chorus Line. And I don't know if I'm seeing things, very bad things, but Victoria Beckham just walked in and it would seem that she's cut off all her hair. It's horrendous! Like little tufts all over head. Jennifer Lopez just got here too (wearing a white dress). Posh kind of sneaked in behind her and hardly anyone noticed. Given the hair, probably for the best."

By: Jessica Coen

Victoria Beckham the new Mia Farrow?

Here is a juicy bit of news! We are in the thick of New York Fashion Week. Everyone has been scouring the papers and the web to get their fill of fashion, celebrities behaving badly, and model drama. You may have noticed that one of my favorite fashionistas, Posh Spice, has been completely absent from the festivities thus far.

A little birdie told me she went to Garren Salon straight from the PJ (private jet for those of you out of the upper echelon acronym loop) to get rid of that tired bob which I hear was full of extensions...hence adding to the lollipop head. She is now sporting a Mia Farrow via Rosemary's Baby style cropped pixie cut. Vicky B has been holed up in her hotel room since Friday night (good God think of that room service bill!....oh wait, she doesn't eat---think of that mini bar bill!)

This is sure to cause quite a stir and get those tongues wagging when she makes her grand entrance at the Marc Jacobs show and party Monday night. I can't wait!!

Dump your old electronics at Union Square tomorrow!

Do you have a printer that just wont print...a phone that just wont phone....or speakers that just wont speak...a computer that takes you back to your elementary Oregon Trail days?

Take them all to Union Square Sunday, Jan 6th from 10am to 4pm to recycle these little jewels of hazardous waste. Clutter in your home means clutter in your life. Make 2008 clutter free. The principles of Feng Shui say that dead things in your home lead to bad energy, so git rid of the stuff that doesn't work and help out the environment a little too.

Event sponsored by the Lower East Side Ecology Center. For more info click here.

Todd Joyce on home page of Break.com

Watch Todd get the crap scared out of him by The King on Break.com....it is even more funny if you know him and have experienced his girlish screams first hand. I love it!


The King Strikes at Break!!! - Watch more free videos

Sex and the City Movie Preview....YES!

The Homeless Horseman

I will preface this story by assuming everyone knows what the Central Park horse-driven carriages look like. You know, picturesque early 1900's looking chariots driven by inauthentic men in top hats living out some childhood rodeo or Kentucky Derby fantasy gone awry. These horse move at a snail's pace and basically look like some of the most miserable creatures on earth. And so begins my story....

I was on my way home from HK at 39th and 9th Ave; standing on the corner with my best friend and his sister visiting from the Michigan, trying to keep warm and hail a cab. From afar we hear the faint sound of clomping horses. Now this was all very confusing since a)we are no where near nature b)Central Park is a solid 20 blocks north of where we are c)the horses are kept on the far Upper West Side at night and it was about 2am.

As the sound grew louder and louder we look up 9th Ave. to find a man standing at the helm of one of these carriages with the horse GALLOPING down the street. The driver was definitely not one of the lethargic horsemen of norm, but seemed to be a homeless man who had hijacked the horse and buggy. He made a sharp right on 39th Street almost taking out my friend's sister all the while screaming, "GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU PERVERTS!!" And then he rode off into the night never to be seen again.

Sighting of My Fearless Leader

Just another random walk home from the subway: like many before, like many will be afterwards. I saw a movie set in Bryant Park (like many before, like many will be afterwards) and decided to walk by since Fashion Week is probably my favorite time of the year. I was very curious to see who was shooting with a fake fashion week tent in the background. Movie sets are a lot of hurry up and wait so I didn't think I would see anyone worth noting. I took a quick glimpse and kept on my way down 6th Avenue.

At about 40th and 6th I noticed a girl walking towards me with this crazy outfit on. This being New York and everything, I didn't think anything of it. Seriously, it looked like she was wearing two giant dirty snowballs (or dandelion puffs). She wasn't with a mass of people so I really thought nothing of it.....until I got closer. Our paths crossed and when she was about 10 feet away from me I realized......OMG IT IS SARAH JESSICA PARKER!!! IT IS CARRIE BRADSHAW!!! MY FEARLESS LEADER!!! Once I realized who she was a smile spread across my face that I could not have possibly controlled. She looked at me and smiled back in a silent "I know you are a huge fan and thank you for now attacking me with cameras and praises" kind of way. As soon as it was over I had to stop by the first place I knew that had wireless internet and let me partner in crim (and fellow SATC devotee) know who I had seen.

This has easily been my favorite sighting over the past year and half. Sex and the City changed the way women think about everything from fashion to boys to shoes to careers. The show was one of my huge inspirations to move to New York, and seeing Sarah Jessica Parker was really the icing on the Maglolia cupcake. The only thing that would have topped this is if Carrie had been walking down the street with Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte.....I think I would have passed out.

Anna Wintour, Eat Your Heart Out

Halloween has never been so fabulous.

The Legend


The Inspiration


The Reality

Marc Jacobs Loves Pigs

Happy Halloween from the Marc Jacobs store on Bleecker. Shield the eyes of your kids lest they turn into vegetarians immediately. Is Marc trying to tell us a) Happy Halloween b) meat is murder or c) he is Jewish. I'm not really sure, but I can tell you that pig was not done off in a kosher way. I can't wait till Sexy Santa comes back for pics this December!

CP30's Dream Woman

While walking down 25th Street every day, I always laugh a little to myself at this mannequin shop half way down the block. In the window is the most redeculous mannequin I have ever seen (and I am totally creeped out by them the way others get nervous around clowns or Halloween masks). I think to myself, "Aw, this is CP30's dream woman." This mannequin spends her days staring down to the street below like a gold plated Rapunzel wishing to be rescued.

Dove Onslaught Viral Video

Unilever hits us with another look at the beauty industry. But wait.....arent they in the beauty industry? Last time I checked they produce self tanning, anti-aging, volumizing, and firming products. Love the skin you're in!

Fat-Asses of the World Unite!

Does the thought of narrow stadium seats make you cringe? The thought of hard plastic cutting into your flesh, muffin tops spilling over the arm rests to the horror and dismay of your neighbors? Well fear not fatties, organizers of the 2012 Olympics in London are accomodating you by ordering wider seats for the stadiums. I find this raises a serious question though...Should society condone this "flabberization" of its population?

Check out the article:
Do Bigger Chairs Make Bigger Butts

Raisin Face takes on the Devil who wears Prada

Raisin-face Rachel Zoe is at it again....getting a little too big for her size 00 britches. This time she has taken on my beloved Anna Wintour, Vogue editor and basically the compass of the fashion industry. Guess what honey, the trailer trash that reads US Weekly (where your clients are most prominently featured) want's to find your picks at H&M or Forever 21. Anna on the other hand is a style beacon, a lighthouse in the monstrous sea of designers transcending fashion, celebrity, and philanthropy. Zoe needs to get herself back in line immediately. Speaking of lines.....learn something from Anna, and cover up those canyons with some bangs.

WWD
Published: Thursday, September 13, 2007
WHO’S BIGGER?: Rachel Zoe has never been known for having a small ego, but who knew she considered herself the most important woman in fashion. “Anna Wintour is one of my heroes, but they say I’m more influential,” Zoe tells Lynn Hirschberg in this Sunday’s issue of The New York Times Magazine. “As great as it is, Vogue won’t change a designer’s business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week.”

Arrogant? Perhaps. But she’s certainly making a comparable salary to the famed editor in chief. According to Hirschberg, the stylist makes roughly $6,000 a day, which is generally paid for by the movie studios when her clients have movies to promote for them. And others are clearly interested in her services as well, among them the Bravo network, which is reportedly in talks with Zoe about doing a show for them. — Jacob Bernstein

Who wants to be the next Paris Hilton???

Ah, the continued downfall and deterioration of our society. Speaking of society....this is exactly the thing future Paris's and Niclole's of the world need to propel them into the limelight (DUI, jail time, and pregnancy are so hot right now). Truthfully, any socialite worth her salt doesn't need a reality TV show to make it happen for herself, and anyone with a reputable family would be locked in the dungeon of the estate before going on a TV show like this. My prediction is that it will be littered with d-list socialites and the hanger's on who wish they were.....makes for good TV though since they are hungry to claw their way to the top and obviously must whore themeslves out to do so.

PS - My guess is that the "reigning socialite princess" is none other than our nemisis, Tinsley Mortimer

Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2007 13:59:54
To:"Avo Yermagyan"
Subject: ANNOUNCING NATIONWIDE SEARCH FOR SOCIETY GIRLS LOOKING TO BECOME THE NEXT "IT GIRL" -
Gaudy PR


Please see the Press Release, included below:
____________________________________

For Immediate Release

ANNOUNCING NATIONWIDE SEARCH FOR SOCIETY GIRLS
LOOKING TO BECOME THE NEXT "IT GIRL"

(September 2007) Beverly Hills, CA - Doron Ofir Casting, in
association with The Mottola Company and 25/7 Productions have begun
casting for a fierce new television series searching for America's
most ambitious, driven, stylish, and socially conscious young
debutantes of pedigree, who wish to propel their careers and causes
onto the world stage, while being led by New York's reigning socialite
princess.

This exclusive invitation is being presented to America's elite
debutantes and is the chance that every aspiring "it girl" dreams of.
"I'm excited to bring this coveted opportunity to these aspiring it
girls across the nation..." said Doron Ofir, President of Doron Ofir
Casting, when asked about the search, he continues, "...We are seeking
the future female leaders who will reign with unstoppable zeal,
unprecedented style, and an unwavering dedication to philanthropy.
These upwardly-mobile young women should be at least 21 years of age,
appear under 26, and have the determination to make their mark on the
most important social scene in the world, New York City. This is not
an open casting call. This is for a very select few".

The yet to be revealed society powerhouse, New York's reigning
socialite princess, will choose one exemplary protege out of 10
formidable ingenues, to be awarded this life changing experience. The
special girl will network her way through New York City's social
labyrinth and get on the radar by impressing the judges with her
sophistication, beauty, and social awareness. By joining this
exclusive Manhattan Sorority, she will be invited to the city's most
glamorous happenings and events, coiffed and styled by the best, and
have the chance to secure her place in the world of high society,
deeming her worthy of the sought after title of "It Girl".

For more information on this search, to be considered as a
participant, or to nominate a friend, please visit:
www.societygirlcasting.com

For additional inquiries, please e-mail: societygirlcasting@gmail.com
or contact Paisley Baker, Doron Ofir Casting: 310.467.3007.

###

Cheers!

Avo Yermagyan
Gaudy PR