The Good Shepard

I always know a good movie by its ability to make me to talk about it afterwards; trying to figure out every little plot twist, foreshadowing, and line of dialogue that occurred. If you want to see the antithesis of The Good Shepard, go see James Bond: Casino Royale. The Good Shepard follows Matt Damon through his life, basically telling the tale of a Skull and Bones Society Yalee who becomes the backbone of WWII - 1960's C.I.A. I really enjoyed the first third and the last third of the movie. The story is not funny, not action packed (yet it is suspenseful), and probably not what you are expecting. And, Angelina Jolie plays a much more minor role than the previews depict. This is what I see as to a more "real life" depiction of CIA work: dissecting one photograph and one reel of sound into every last pixel and granule; not seducing blondes in bikinis while fighting bad guys with a third nipple. In sum, Matt Damon learns that he really can't trust anyone (not at all shocking considering he works with foreign counter intelligence agents---hello). If you are looking for a glamorous, sexy, romanticized spy movie, stick with Bond. If you are looking for something with more grit, depth, and more realistic, by all means, go see The Good Shepard.

The Office - Christmas Outpost

Instead of my regular posting locale, Starbucks on 24th and 6th, I am setting up shop in Mesquite TX for the next few days. I'll be frequenting the Panera Bread across from Town East Mall. I am so suburban.

James Brown - One Bad Mutha F@#$a

This will be my little tribute to James Brown. I saw him perform at the Diesel party during Fashion Week this past fall, and I have to say that he can put on a show....a cheesy cruise ship style show, but a show none the less. RIP brotha, and thanks for the memories.

This article has to be about his wife/backup dancer in the video. Haha. Click it.

My Poor Dallas Gays

Now, I pride myself in surrounding myself with super hot gays in each of my cities: NYC and Dallas. So, I had to check out the scene while in Texas. Let me tell you I was shocked to see the specimens my lovely friends have to pick from. Seriously, I pity them. This was what I saw on a Friday night at JRs. Power Gays in Dallas.....where are you??

Barneys at Northpark...Wake Up Dallasites

I took a little journey to Northpark Mall yesterday, and was excited to check out the brand new Barneys (ah yes, a little bit of NYC in the heart of the Metroplex). I was absolutely shocked to find that there were about 5 customers (including me and my mother) in the entire store. Now I know that it seems like luxuriously witty Barneys from NYC has come to rain on your stodgy Neiman Marcus parade, but give me a break. The Winter Sale is in full force, and what was a deluge of everyone and their mother in Manhattan was nothing more than a trickle in Dallas. New plan: forget fighting the crowds in NYC, I'll just save my sanity and come to Dallas. This is a goldmine!

Fashion Disaster Fridays Vol 3

This is not a joke. I took this picture outside of Starbucks at 26th and 6th last Sunday. She actually came inside the store then walked out...just in time for me to get an awesome shot. Heinous.

Leave Marisha Pessl Alone!

Eh, my poor friend Marisha Pessl, author of Calamity Physics....it just never ends for this gal. Seems to me that you can either be an ugly troll of a writer and get loads of accolades, or you can be gorgeous and everyone dogs your book because they attribute the publicity to the looks and not the novel. NY Magazine's Curve of Expectations puts her in the "Overhyped-Backlash" phase. Seriously. Leave her alone!

Click on the chart to get a better view.

Back in TX

Ok, so I have gone back to the land of big hair, too much make up, fake boobs, and acrylic nails.....no I am not on Long Island; I am back in Texas for the Holidays. I will give you a little taste of the Lone Star State though: last night while I was at Macaroni Grill with my parents a woman came in with a Christmas light necklace complete with batter pack that created a medallion of flashing lights around her neck. Seriously, it only gets better from here. Fashion Disaster Fridays have gone to a whole new level. Get ready to rumble tomorrow.

Thanks x 1000

To everyone who has checked out the site, thank you so much!! I hit 1000 impressions over the weekend since I started the blog. That may not sound incredibly high, but I think it's pretty damn cool. Thanks again!

PS- Crap, leave some comments. I would love to hear what you think!

Mommy---Where Do Christmas Trees Come From?

If you live in NYC, the answer to that question is Duane Reade. Haha. Most people I know get their trees delivered, set up (not decorated though...that is the fun part), and taken away after the holidays. I love how New Yorkers seem to outsource just about everything. Somehow the trees just don't look as festive on the sidewalk as they do from a Christmas tree farm. They still smell just as wonderful though. Christmas is coming!

HOT GOSSIP - Scarlett Johansson

Only in New York kids.....My roommate's best guy friend has been having a sexy, steamy time with Scarlett Johansson. Hot Liam! Turns out he was a cater-waiter at a Chanel party and met her there. I pity the girl who has to follow her up. Those are some big --er shoes to fill. I know Isaac Mizrahi is jealous.

Swift Bar

I stumbled upon Swift at a friend's work holiday party, and this place is definitely a diamond in the rough. It is easy to overlook, but is so great when you are there. It is a no-nonsense, minimal pretense, laid back place. AND it is so great right now because it is decorated for Christmas. I love it. It has a tavern-esque feel which makes it low key and not too rowdy. There are plenty of places to sit and grab a beer and there were quite a few hotties there on Saturday afternoon. I will definitely be back.

Swift - E. 4th btwn Lafayette and Bowery

Fashion Disaster Fridays: Vol 2

Jordan says, "Honey, silver leggings, a fanny pack, and a sequined headband are not half as distinguished as my Star of David ascot."

Release Your Inner Socialite

Yes, we know you may shop at Target, get all done up in your duds from the Gap, and live in burbs, but NOW is the time to release your inner socialite. We all have it in us. Entitlement, endless amounts of money, and of course, no day job except to be utterly fabulous. This article on Style.com is a wonderful photo montage of socialites of the past and present. You will notice that Paris, Nicole, and insert-celebutant-of-the-moment-here are entirely absent. They would never hold a candle to the previous regime. Check it out. Very interesting.

Socialites Then and Now - style.com

My least favorite neighborhood

I cannot tell you enough how much I hate going out on the Lower East Side. Not only are all the places grungy dive bars with dudes who need some serious personal grooming advice, but they card absolutely everywhere. I have definitely not found this to be the case in NYC, especially in Chelsea (besides the Cuda) and Meatpacking. Bungalow, Double 7s, Marquee, Hiro, you name it; I am never carded anywhere in the city (and neither is anyone else unless you look 14). Then I go down there and am carded at EVERY place I go. Seriously, it's very sweet of them, but in no way do I look like I am under 21. I may sound like a super diva, but I don't really care.

Marc Jacobs + Jason = Round 1MM

You know I can't resist my fav nerdy fashion designer/rent boy couple. Here is the "update" courtesy of NY Daily News. Thanks for the old news!! I knew about this months ago!

Report of split not so far off the Marc

Looks like designer Marc Jacobs wants nothing to do with his one-time boyfriend, hardbodied former rent boy Jason Preston.

We reported last month that the pair had split, which earned us this electronic tongue-lashing from Preston: "We're still happily together. DAMN, get your facts straight & stop hating." And true, the couple looked cuddly at a Nov. 14 party.

But now it seems the twentysomething Twinkie might have to change his "Marc Jacobs" forearm tattoo to "Markdown."

We ran into Jacobs yesterday at the premiere of Michael Lucas' flashy high-budget skin flick "La Dolce Vita." Asked how Preston was doing, Jacobs told us, "I couldn't tell you. I haven't seen him. I haven't spoken to him. I don't know what he's doing. And if he told me, I'm not sure I would believe him, because he's not a very honest person."

Ouch. Preston didn't respond to our E-mails yesterday, but we did suspect the worst when, a mere two weeks after Preston defended his relationship with Jacobs, our own Ben Widdicombe reported the ex-hustler making out with gossip blogger Perez Hilton.

When did things go sour? A source tells us it may have been a night the couple spent with friends at the gay lounge Therapy, when Jacobs was introduced to a handsome young fellow, who will remain nameless for now.

The designer gave the 23-year-old a warm greeting on Tuesday, and we hear he was to be a guest at Jacobs' holiday masquerade party last night.

Awards Season is HERE

My favorite time of the year has kicked off! Golden Globe nominations were released today. I love awards season like a Kate Moss loves a good fat bump. The red carpet, the fashion police, Isaac Mizrahi feeling Scarlett Johansen's boobies.....what's not to love! If you don't know what the Hollywood Foreign Press it is, I will explain in a rant later as to what a huge joke they are. Regardless, let the cat fight begin! I'm excited already!

And here are the Golden Globe Nominees....

Socialite Rank - Love it!

THE talk of NYC over the past few weeks has been a blog called Socialite Rank. If you live outside of NYC you have probably never heard of these people, but they are THE New York elite: this is way beyond Paris and Nicole. These social doyennes base their lives around galas, gowns, and glasses of champers. It is all about being photographed (with the right people at the right events), flashing your socialite brass, and never being seen in the same thing twice. The huge scandal is who writes it (no one knows), who reads it, and who has clawed their way to the stop of the NYC society ladder. Check it out... Tinsley Mortimer will thank you.

Socialite Rank

Draq Queen Cop Gives Tickets

Call me crazy, but I think he could do his job and be equally effective even if he weren't dressed as a raging tranny. It's a slippery slope my friend...one day you are wearing dresses and fishnets as a joke, the next day you using words like gorgeous, fabulous, and girlfriend (when referring to both men and women).

Officer Delicious, aka West Palm Beach police officer Terry Golden, stands at Okeechobee Boulevard and Jog Road on Wednesday morning as he watches for cars running red lights and alerts nearby fellow officers. "I've seen people drive by eating food and when they see me, the food just falls out of their mouth" Golden said of his outfit. Another officer was dressed as a homeless person. Officers gave 77 drivers tickets in about 90 minutes.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

I know it's mid-December, and I am sure your weekends are booked from here through New Years, but if you have a spare Friday or Saturday you must host an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. I had one last weekend, and it was a complete riot. Who doesn't love to see their most fashionable friends look like complete fools. It is tricky though to find a sweater that is 1)heinous, 2)cheap, 3)no one else will have. The Goodwill is ok if you are not disturbed by the fact you are wearing someone else's sweater (who obviously had the bad taste to wear it, but ultimately came to their senses and gave it away). TJMaxx had some truly horrid specimens, but they were over $60. Burlington Coat Factory was the best bet. $13 for an embroidered sweater vest. It is shocking that people actually wear this stuff. The best part was when one woman complimented me on what a gorgeous sweater I had, and if I could point her in the direction where I got it. OMG I almost died. The laughs never end with this one. Each one is worse than the last!

Cafeteria

This is one of my favorite late night eateries in Chelsea, so it is a wonder I have not written about it before. I guess last night was one of the few occasions where I went there a)on a week night, and b) not at 4am after a night of hard core boozing. This is a great place that's open 24 hrs, which is surprisingly hard to come by in the "city that doesn't sleep". It is completely wild say, Saturday around 3am, but it was surprisingly crowded Tuesday night at 11ish. This is definitely a gay scene and even though all the furnishings are pretty Ikea-style, it is sleek and stylish in its own way. Basically, it looks trendy from the outside, but is really a upscale incarnation of a late night diner. I'm not going to lie, I have had the chicken fried steak and it was delicious (I don't know if that was the booze talking though), and the mac and cheese is perfect after drinking. On more sane nights I opt for the spinach salad which I love. You really can't go wrong here. Nothing is terribly expensive, unless you order an entire side of the menu which my friends have done before. If you are in a rush I might pass it up though, because the service can be quite slow. Regardless, its easy and delish: you can't go wrong with that.

Cafeteria - 7th Ave btwn 16th and 17th

Bare Naked!

I'm definitely not a tree-hugger granola type girl, but on a cold winter's morning I love oatmeal. Not the runny kind that reminds me of three bears and porridge or looks like oatmeal puree, but the thick meaty kind with chunks and fruit bits, etc. After years of eating Quaker Oats Cinnamon Roll oatmeal (which is right on par with crack in it's addictiveness), which is loaded with high fructose corn syrup (honey, no) I made the switch to Kashi oatmeal. Truthfully, eating that was like a kid forcing down medicine. It tasted like cardboard and had the nastiest gelatinous texture. YUCK! As a last resort I tried Bare Naked Oatmeal (I got mine at Whole Foods), and I absolutely love it. There are actual dried blueberries in the fruit flavored one, and it is absolutely delicious with just the right mix of mushiness and texture. Seriously, give it a whirl. Your body will thank you.

Bare Naked Granola

This is why 12 year olds can't drink

Our good friend Coco Richie followed in the footsteps of her partner in crime, Paris, and got arrested for a DUI two nights ago (driving on the wrong side of the freeway none the less). The police report said she was 5'1" and weighed 85 pounds. My trusty little Blood Alcohol Content calculator only goes down to 100 lbs. Damn. When cross referenced with my BMI calculator I see that Nicole's BMI (body mass index) is only 16.1. Anything under 18.5 is considered underweight. It looks like modeling in Spain is out for Nicole, as well as driving in LA. No more drinking your dinner!

BMI Index Calculator
Blood Alcohol Calculator

Macys: A Stampede Waiting to Happen

We have all heard new stories from far off lands about people getting trampled to death. I distinctly remember a story about thousands of people on a pilgrimage crossing a bridge. A rumor of a bomb threat spread through the masses and hundreds of people were trampled to death by a human stampede. I confronted a similar situation this past weekend at Macy's Herald Square (or what I like to call the epicenter of American consumerism at its worst). It was almost scary being in there. You had to wait in a line to use the escalator, you could barely walk at a snail's pace, and all over were tourists clutching their belongings as if they were going to become the next victim of an NYC mugging. The ingredients were all there: excitement, jumpiness, and so many people it looked like one of those Discovery channel videos where ants from the Amazon overtake anything that comes in their path. One wrong move or fire alarm and we all would have been crushed.

Fredrick Ford - Worst Music Video of ALL TIME

This could quite possibly be the worst music video all the time. This is a must see. Someone needs to tell this guy that just because you have a camcorder, a foil lined spinning box, and an awful song doesn't mean you should make a music video. Utterly heinous.

Drag Queen Bingo

Didn't gay it up enough on Saturday night? Check out Sunday afternoons at Splash: Drag Queen Bingo and $1 beers. Seriously, can you think of a better way to spend the Lord's Day?

Maroons

Tired of the same old brunch? The wait at Pastis...boring eggs bennie...mimosas where you feel like you are drinking regular OJ. Mix it up and head to Maroons. They have a Jamaican and southern inspired menu and live jazz during brunch. We all got the fried chicken with waffles or homefries, and it was great: not KFC greasy, but moist and juicy. Brunch is a prix fixe $15 which includes a brunchy cocktail. Skip the Maroons Madness (way too sugary) and go straight for the screwdriver. Talk about hair of the dog. Yikes. Our waiter was hilariously sassy so that livened things up a bit. Definitely a great deviation from the norm, really fun, and where else can you eat fried chicken without feeling totally ghetto.

Maroons - 16th btwn 7th and 8th

Fashion Disaster Friday vol 1

Ok, I think we all know that plaids and argyle don't mix...unless you have grandchildren or are wearing knickers on a golf course....and even then it is questionable. I am sure his mom got him this smashing combo as an early Christmas present. Hello--change after you get through security. Momma will be happy, and so will they person next to you on the plane who would have had to look at that outfit for 4 hours.

Place: LGA Date: Nov 27

$500 Fine?!

I love finding humorous stuff as I walk along the streets of Manhattan. If you can't read the sign above the pipe it says, "Please do not sit on it. Must fine $500." What are these people thinking? First of all, who the hell is going to police this? If you were sitting (on a pipe I guess) and someone came out and said you owed them $500 for doing so you would tell them to fuck off then go on your merry way. I don't think they can legally demand money from you, and who the hell are they to collect on it. Secondly, wouldn't this just promote MORE sitting on the pipe? Everyone loves to test the limits, so if anything I would say that the $500 'fine' would only encourage people to do it. Come on Mr. Chinese-Import-Shop-Manager on 6th ave and 31st Street. If he really wanted no one to sit on the pipe he should say a homeless guy peed on it the day before.

Nello's - Pink Dog Stroller Not Amusing

I pulled this one from the archives...please heed as a warning and laugh at the utter pompousness.

I expected high prices at Nello, but as I looked at the menu my eyes became as large as the Birkin Mary-Kate has been seen toting around these days--$18 for soup, $22 for a plate of mixed greens, $40 for pasta. You have to be kidding me. My friend and I were seated at a table that may have well been in the 'waiting area', and the genius maitre d' decided to keep the front door open even though it was 40 degrees outside. To top it all off, a woman came into the restaurant pushing a pink stroller--carrying two dogs none the less, which the staff promptly made room for at her table. Give me a break! I can get a hell of a lot of soup and salad at Whole Foods for $40. I could almost hear the cash register in the staff's heads going Ca-Ching! Ca-Ching! Ca-Ching!

Nello's - Madison btwn 62nd and 63rd.

Tortilla Flats

Beware: 2 pitchers of margs on the rocks will run you about $90. Even though potency receives and A+ in my book (being from TX I am quite the connoisseur), that is quite a bill for beverages served in pitcher form. They also have trivia night on Sundays which is like Trivial Pursuit frat house style with winners getting free tequila shots. My advice: steer clear of the farthest table in the back of patio. There is a dryer vent spewing hot humid air which engulfs your legs. My advice: fashion a menu to funnel the air away and bring out the plastic because these margs will either polish you off or be the beginning of a CRAZY night.

Tortilla Flats - Washington @ 12th Street

You can take the guy out of the trailer park.....

K-Fed done himself up all good. Courtesy of Page Six.

December 7, 2006 -- BRITNEY Spears' ex, Kevin Federline, is finally starting to realize people think he's a sleazebag - and is desperately trying to change his image. Not only did he send out a press release yesterday stating that he had replaced his trademark chains and wife-beater tank top for a suit jacket and button-down shirt (although the pants remain at half mast), he's also trying to learn how to sound smart. Federline and his posse randomly showed up at the Village Vanguard last week to catch the book launch of David Matalon and Chris Woolsey's tome, "The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties." Witnesses say that Fed-ex "actually chatted up the authors and seemed interested in how to sound smart." But eventually, his true nature took over: "He and his buddies went to the bar and pounded Everglo liquor shots for the rest of the night. They were really there for the free booze. Pathetic."

Dirty Little Romp at Barneys

You will never look at the cologne guy at Barneys again without thinking of this story!

DO NOT CLICK HERE if you are easily offended.

My Fav Winter Accessory (besides self tanner)

Inspired by grandpas and golfers, my new winter 'must-have' is the golf cap. Sexier than the beanie, wamer than nothing, bad hair day--taken care of, and more polished than the skullcap/bill combo. You wild ones may go for the crazy plaid, but I have taken to black cashmere myself (I got mine at Barneys as a little Christmas present to myself). They will run you a few dollars, but think about how long gramps has been wearing his. AND cheap hats mean itchy foreheads. Definitley an good investment.

I Miss Summer

Could we all take a minute to bring ourselves out of the cold wind, sun going down at 4:30 and covering every square inch of skin. Just remember the warm days of summer: basking in the sun, little dresses, coifed beachy hair, and having a tan!

Let Paris take you there.....close your eyes and imagine the warmth....

Those Crazy Danes

Here is a little taste of what our friends across the pond are checking out on TV courtesy of cnn.com. I am all for freedom of speach and everything, but Jesus.

Another show raising eyebrows is "Spuiten en Slikken" (Shooting and Swallowing), on which every sexual persuasion can be found. It broadcasts on the youth-oriented public broadcater BNN, currently the most risque station in Holland.

The program, which claims to have an educational purpose, caused a scandal even before its first episode. One of the presenters experiments onscreen with all kinds of soft and hard drugs. The program also features the exploration of sexual activities, including S&M, swingers clubs, squirting female orgasms and prostate milking (shown in full detail), leading to a flurry of political disapproval.

The Dutch have had their fair share of tasteless television in recent years. Considered by some as the nadir of gutter TV, "Patty's Fort," which aired in 2004 on RTL, saw minor Dutch celebs led by former pop singer Patty Brard gather for a colonic irrigation session in a health spa, with the scatological results shown to the audience.

The country has a long history of pushing the televisual envelope. In 1967, broadcaster VPRO caused a worldwide sensation by showing a nude model for the first time on national TV, shown reading a Christian newspaper. The resulting furor led to the cancellation of the avant-garde program, called "Hoepla," after only three episodes.

Death would be thought by some to be the ultimate taboo, but the Dutch were among the first to screen it. Twelve years ago, the religious broadcaster Ikon presented a documentary called "Death by Request," in which a euthanasia case was shown until the very end, making worldwide headlines.

El Rio Grande - The Restaurant, Not the River

El Rio Grande is my favorite tex-mex restaurant in NYC. Hands down. It is the only place I have found where I can get my favorite Texas Queso. This is not it's wimpy sister the Queso Fundito which is melted cheese in a skillet, but a bowl of melted cheese, japs, and onions perfect for dipping chips or tortillas. The tacos and enchiladas are great and my new favorite winter dish is the chicken soup with avacado and tomatoes. And, of course it has the requisite boozy margarita. Delish. I feel like I am back in Austin.

El Rio Grande (38th and 3rd Ave)

Barney's Winter Sale

Bonjour....to anyone living in a cave (or off the island for that matter) the Barney's Winter Sale started this weekend. Get Thee to Barney's immediately! I am obsessed with their "Happy Andy War-holiday's" theme. Loves it!

The Black Door

After the monsoon on Friday evening, I figured it could possibly be disastrous to venture too far away from my apartment. It was not worth getting caught in that again. I had heard of The Black Door, a little no frills neighborhood bar, from my roommate and decided to check it out. It was a great little low-key place with cheap (by NYC standards) drinks. My fav, Grey Goose on the rocks with lem and lime was $8. It would have easily been $13 at the Gansevoort. I also loved the music....it really took me back to my middle school days with mid-nineties tween anthems from Bush, Weezer, and Stone Temple Pilots. And, now I know where the straight Chelsea kids come to grab a drink. Definitley recommended for a low-key night when you aren't looking to drop a lot of coin, and are more interested in grabbing a drink then dealing with the scene.

The Black Door (26th btwn 6th and 7th Ave)

The Spotted Pig

Ok, so this is my #2 'go-to' restaurant. Fabulous, laid back, delicious food. They do have some adventurous menu items like a crispy pig's ear and something involving eel, but 90% of the people get the burger, and for good reason. The hamburger is the best I have had, and I think I gained 15 pounds after I ate it. It was total food coma style. The mozzarella salad is great and on the lighter side, and I also loved the quail. This is a great place to have dinner or hang out at the bar upstairs or down. They are serving mulled wine right now. If you haven't have it get yourself there ASAP...it is the perfect winter beverage. I was there last night, and I would say it was pretty wild for a Thursday but started to quiet down around 10:30. Very much like a neighborhood pub, you sit on bar stools (even at a table unless you get a coveted booth) and it is packed. I have had to wait 30-45 minutes every time to get a table...even on Sundays. Regardless, this is one of my favorite places.

The Spotted Pig - (11th @ Greenwich Street)

Zents are Zelicious

I am well aware that candles are the 21st century's "old cat lady", but I don't care..I think they smell fabulous, and no one likes a stinky apartment. I came across the Zents line of candles, bath things, and scents in Sulphur Springs TX of all places, so I was pleasantly surprised to go to their website and discover they are sold all over (even in NYC yay). I am now and addict and everyone I know will be getting them as presents. Haha JK. The scents are fresh, clean, and modern which I love, and the packaging is classy and minimal. I am so over those status candles with huge lables ie- Diptyque ($75 ya right), Tocca (the worst burning candle I have ever bought--black soot everywhere), Henri Bendel etc. I got the Water candle which smells just like Bali, and I love the Fig body spray as well. Loves it!

www.zents.com

Le Bilboquet

I can easily say Le Bilboquet is my 'go-to' restaurant in NYC. Out of town guests--take them to Bilbo...Thurs night drinks and appz--go to Bilbo...you get the picture. This tiny haunt is on the corner of 63rd and Madison (yes, my nose starts to bleed when I go that far uptown, but it is so worth it), no bigger than your parent's living room, with no sign and only a green awning. It is usually crowded, so grab a drink across the street at Post House, and the maitre d' will come get you when your table is ready. Inside is a totally euro scene with ever changing art, delicious food, and a joie le vivre air. It gets totally wild at night and at brunch complete with dancing in your seat, great music, a 'light show' by my favorite waiter Derek, and more pinot than you can imagine. I swear by the Cajun chicken and absolutely love the smoked salmon with guacamole. I have always had the best time and loved my food even if they are a little slow filling the water glasses (who cares anyways....we are drinking vino!) Some of my craziest nights in NYC have began at Bilbo.

Le Bilboquet (63rd btwn Madison and Park)

NY Post Made My Morning

This is hard news in NYC. Read the FRONT PAGE article in today's NY Post:

3 BIMBOS OF THE APOCALYPSE - NO CLUE, NO CARES, NO UNDERWEAR: MEET THE PARTY POSSE OF THE YEAR

By MAUREEN CALLAHAN

November 29, 2006 -- THEY have already been dubbed "The Brit Pack": three girls, increasingly famous for making spectacularly bad choices, marshaling their collective brain power to navigate the booths and banquettes at Hyde or Spider Club or wherever it is they're drinking it off on any given night.

Paris Hilton, her frenemy Lindsay Lohan, and newly separated Britney Spears: three party girls without a care (babies? what babies?), a high tolerance for alcohol, or a good publicist.

In the past week, Spears - who has a 1-year-old and 2-month-old at home - has spent every single night partying with Hilton (and, occasionally, Lohan). A quick study, Spears - long absent from the scene, what with being married and pregnant and all - has already picked up such "It" girl tricks as how to make sure your picture winds up everywhere. Such as, don't wear underwear and flash your crotch while pretending you hate the paparazzi and tearfully beg for them to leave you alone.

After dumping Kevin Federline, Spears seemed like she was on the upswing: She cut her hair. She looked like she was bathing regularly. She celebrated her separation with some wholesome ice-skating at Rockefeller Center and even more wholesome shopping - for chunky sweaters and beanie caps! - at the Gap. She started recording her comeback album, working late nights at the Sony studios in Manhattan.

Then she took off for a Vegas weekend, where she reconnected with old friend Hilton, and then Lindsay Lohan started angling to get in on this power clique, which she eventually did, and now all is well and the trio go clubbing every night, smoking and drinking and having dance-offs. Surely they talk to each other too, but trying to guess what their conversations sound like is enough to make anyone's head explode.

Anyway: With full knowledge that the unholy alliance of these three may be over and done with by the end of business day today, we present a tale of the tape illuminating just what these three probably have in common. And regardless of how long these friendships last: Skanks for the memories!

Pimpin the 2 Train

I hopped on the 2 train this morning to go to work, and I could not believe the sight that entered my car at 34th street. This woman was wearing a genuine pimp hat from a Halloween costume (the pic is exactly how it looked). I am not even going to go into this woman's ethnicity because regardless of race this was not appropriate for any human to be wearing at 7:15 in the morning. The pimp hat was coupled with a houndstooth blazer and red fuzzy house shoes, which made the homeless man with the bag of cans sitting next to her look quite debonair and polished. She spent the next 50 or so odd blocks being the true pimptress she was meant to be. As she sat she A) painted her nails metallic purple which made everyone on the train ill from the stench, and B) decided to outline her lips in black liquid eye liner before applying gloss. SEXY. Don't hate the playas (or the pimptresses), hate the game.

Only in New York kids, only in New York.

Zoe = No

What's up Skeletor? This is what happens when you have 3 pieces of asparagus for dinner each night and pass on the botox. She looks like a raisin. Supposedly she is only 35. Heinous. Thank god Nicole Richie is kicking her to the curb. Now, when will Mischa and the rest of the brat pack come to their senses. Sternums are not sexy ladies.

James Bond - Casino Royale

I am a huge James Bond fan, so I while I was very excited about Casino Royale, I didn't know what to expect from Daniel Craig (the new James). I spent my youth watching Bond movies hoping to become a hot, sexy spy...maybe that's why I can't get enough of the SexyBack video. Well, I was not disappointed in any way. Daniel Craig is definitely the opposite of pansy Pierce Brosnan and more rugged than the original Bonds. Basically, he is more rough around the edges than previous Bonds, but he cleans up quite well. The story puts Bond in a high stakes poker game to take money away from his nemesis who plans on funding terrorism with the winnings. A bit out there, but nothing out of line by Bond standards. The one thing I really appreciated was that his lady was not some ridiculous nuclear physicist (a la Denise Richards...ya right), but was an accountant (very plausible). And, I loved the Austin Powers 2 twist at the end. This is a must see for Bond lovers, if your true calling is to live a life of danger and glam factor, or if you just want to see one hot English man in a little Euro swimsuit. HOT.

Check out the trailer. YUM.

Viva la Mexican Food

Things I love about Mexico: beaches, beer, and food. My favorite part about coming to Texas is the Mexican food, and last night I had some of the absolute best. I went to Desperados on Greenville between Mockingbird and Lovers Lane. Let me tell you I am quite the connoisseur, and I loved it: delish and yet such a bargain compared to NYC prices (Jesus, my dinner was only $9). If you are in Dallas definitely put this on your list of restaurants to visit. It's not glitzy or glamorous but it is the best.

Desperados

Tejas

So, I have been in Texas with my family for the past few days. Talk about culture shock going from Manhattan to my grandparent's house in Sulphur Springs. I have decided to compose a list of the most 'Texas' things I have done/witnessed over the Thanksgiving break.

• The water tastes like mud
• I am going to die if I hear one more person talk about the drought
  
• My 15 year old cousin running around in camo and carrying a shotgun
• Wal-Mart (enough said)
• I ate at a restaurant that had 'shell-your own peanuts' as an appetizer
• Pick up trucks with 4 wheels in the back (seriously)
  

Now, I am the first one to reprimand people for abusing stereotypes about Texans, but I feel I can personally get away with knocking them since I was actually born here and lived in Texas for 21 years. I am, however, really looking forward to going to Chuy's (one of my fav Austin places with a Dallas location) and having delicious Mexican food for dinner tonight. That is one thing NYC can't hold a candle to Texas on. I love queso!

Mail That's Not Bills

With the advent of the internet I have found that 99% of my mail is one of three things: 1) bills (EW) 2) magazines (ok, very fun) 3) current resident (news flash--I don't need an oil change since I don't have a car). I was shopping around in Soho last weekend and I found a little vendor on Prince and W. Broadway that was selling the cutest, and might I say classy/trendy as well, note cards and thank you cards. I had to get the ones with the coral. Now, we all know that gift-giving and party season is quickly approaching. Be sure to bypass the lamo Hallmark and Target cards and go straight for something unique. Kenny Gee stationary is definitely my top pick. Love it!

Kenny Gee Home

Madonna Gives Me Goosebumps

I just got done watching the Madonna concert on NBC, and I can easily say I still get goosebumps when I hear the songs from Confessions of a Dancefloor. This was one of those CDs that spoke directly to me and came at such a crossroads in my life. I saw the concert (or as I like to call it: 1 hour and 45 minutes of pure genius) twice at Madison Square Garden, and not only was it worth every penny, but it was the most entertaining show I have been to. She is THE show; no opening act, no encore. And I'm not gonna lie, she has the best damn body I have ever seen. The concert on TV was super edited, but definitely did it justice coming from someone who was actually experienced it. I will go to every Madonna concert regardless of cost for the rest of my life: It was THAT good.

Macys = Waaaa Waaaaa

On the Eve of the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade I just want to inform you all non-New Yorkers that Macy’s Herald Square is a total dump. It is a complete joke of a department store among Manhattanies. I would compare it to K-Mart (you know, trapped between Wal-Mart cheap and Target trendy) but in this case it is trapped between K-Mart (yes, there are K-Marts in Manhattan) and Barneys/Bergdorfs/etc. Even Bloomingdales is a huge step up from Macys. On any given day you can be sure to find 85% tourists, 12% the most ghetto people you can possibly imagine, and 3% those of us who live here and trying to get in and out as quickly as possible without making eye contact with anyone. God forbid anyone actually see me leave there with the “Way to Shop” Macys bag.

Why Wai?

Wai Cafe has the cheapest healthy eats on 6^th ave. coupled with some questionable service. Most entrees are under $12 (sandwiches are about $7), and the house carrot ginger salad dressing is like liquid crack. I really can’t get enough of it. I got the veggie burger on a pita with brown rice which was quite delish. Of course I covered the burger in the carrot ginger dressing. YUM. Our food came out fairly quickly but, looking back we were one of 3 occupied tables. It did, however, take a good 20 minutes to get the check. Really liked the food, but I would probably just have it delivered next time.

Wai Cafe (6th Ave btwn 16th and 17th)

Gawker

I love Perez and everything, but how many times can I see pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s un-pantied crotch? My new favorite site is Gawker. It may be a little irrelevant to the non-New Yorker, but I absolutely love the wit and sarcasm. It is basically written by the people who love the phrase, ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.” It’s definitely my newest guilty pleasure: pure intelligentsia coupled with catty gossip and a touch of NYC asshole.

Gawker

I love Scarlett Johansson

The girl has sex and isn't ashamed about it (even after the Isaac Mizrahi debacle)...and she shouldn't be. Read about how she took a crack at the Presie and his uber conservative view that if you tell teenagers to abstain from having sex, they won't have it. That's realistic. (please, sense my sarcasm)

Read it.

So Wicked

Favorite nail polish in the world: Essie Wicked. It's not as harsh as the oh-so-trendy black and looks like a dark burgundy when you have it on your perfectly manicured nails. So, you can get away with wearing it to the office, but it has a nice touch of edge to it. I am so completely over safe Park Avenue Pink nails. Remember though, keep your nails short or you risk looking like you are from Queens, or even worse...Long Island.

The Birkin Off

This is so New York. My friend Sara was walking down 5th Ave being completely fabulous with her beautiful Birkin. For those of you who don't know what a Birkin is I pity you. It is the IT bag to end all IT bags. There is a waiting list just to get one; not to mention that they cost about $8k. So, in theory you could buy 7 Fendi Spy bags for the cost of a Birkin. Anyways, so Sara is strutting down 5th Ave with her Birkin and this other woman with her own respective Birkin bumps into her. The battle ensues...who is going to be Queen of the Birkins. The old UES bag says "excuse you!" to Sara, to which she replies back "no, excuse you!" to which UES responds "NO, Excuse You!", to which Sara says "NO, Excuse You". The war continues...UES, goes "NO EXCUSE YOU!", and Sara, not to be upstaged by anyone, goes "NO EXCUSE YOU AND YOUR FAKE NOSE!" Yes, she went there...then she scurried off down 5th Ave. No one rains on Sara's Birkin parade.

Only in New York kids, only in New York.

Page Six Sucks

Page Six use to be my morning routing go-to for my unhealthy gossip fix, especially before I moved to NYC. Have any of you read Page Six lately? Seriously, this is the most uninteresting and watered down gossip fodder I can imagine reading. SHOCKING: Lindsay Lohan likes to party. I can only compare it to Perez Hilton for 60 year olds. Don't waste your time. This is a mere shadow of what it was a year ago.

At least I can read it online for free.

Sorry to Ruin Everyone's Saturday

As I sit in the scapeNY office (Starbucks at 24th and 6th), I noticed a handy little nutritional facts brochure. I can guarantee you have no idea what you are getting yourself into when you order that venti Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino at a whopping 620 calories before whipped cream. Sick. Yes, I know no one really orders that so here are the more conventional beverages all in grande size and sans whipped cream:

• Mocha Frappuccino - 290 (light is 180 but tastes like garbage)
  
• Iced Cafe Mocha - 220 calories
• Flavored Latte - 320 calories
• Iced Carmel Macchiato - 270 calories
  

You have at least 20 extra minutes on the treadmill to cancel that mess out. My fav, the iced coffee with 2 Splendas, has only 15 calories :-).

See for yourself

Tony's Bday at Aspen

It's hard being fabulous on a Wednesday night, but Tony's birthday party at Aspen was great. I had to give the new holiday party outfit a test run too (very good feedback and the gays know their dresses and shoes). You can never have too many beautiful gay men or cocktails. Wonderful time. PS - I loved the campfire...if only there had been s'mores.

Check out the pics
Check out the bar

One more barkeep!

Now this is what I call news. I will go straight to ordering bottles of red wine at dinner instead of by the glass. I promise it is for health reasons.

Study: Fat, boozing mice stay healthy

NeoStrata = Skin Savior

A friend of mine tipped me onto NeoStrata Lotion Plus and I can easily say that my skin has never looked better. It was recommended by his Derm (Dr. Colbert), so I thought I would give it a whirl and for $25 bucks who really cares. I love this product. Yes, it does burn a little when you put it on because of the glycolic acid, but no more than if you were to rub Lip Fusion all over your face (and hey, that means it's working in my book). My friend actually describes his skin as translucent, and I have to say that mine is on its way there. Fine lines, dullness, roughness be gone! Luminescence is just a click away!

Get it here.

For the Hair Down There...

Ladies, you must make sure the curtains match the carpet. We know you all aren't true brunettes, red heads, or blondes (especially you Texas girls and the blonde obsession). I have not personally tried this, but I can't resist passing the word along. Seriously, we have all seen the Sex and the City when Samantha finds the gray one and tries to remedy it with a disastrous outcome. Crotches that look like a red Bozo the Clown wig are not hot. I'll stick with my trip to Brazil every other month.

Check it out Betty Beauty

Looks like they fell out of the tree.

Confirmed by one of Jason Preston's besties---He and Marc are not together. Why am I not surprised at all? I was a witness to the meltdown at Marc's after party at Fashion Week. Marc walked around by himself all night while Jason peaced out and went to Double 7s. I actually ran into Marc at the Mercer when he was going to bed (by himself). All is not the Cinderella story it seems to be. People, this is why we don't get tattoos of our signifacant other's name.

The Strangest Thing I Have Seen....

I am going to describe this best as possible. This was straight out of a movie and easily the most bizzare thing I have seen since I have moved to NYC. I was riding the Metro-North back from my job last night (yes, totally fab people like myself do have to work), and we were going through Harlem close to the 125th St. stop (you know, before it goes underground). I was randomly looking out the window not expecting to see anything unusual.....then I saw something VERY unusual. About 100 yards away I saw a guy hanging from a 3rd floor window sill. Not like 'suicide hanging', but like 'I was sticking it to my best friend's wife and he came home' hanging, or 'I lost a bet and a huge guy with a gun came to collect on it' hanging. Seriously. It even looked like he was moving his feet to try to find a ledge or something to stand on. I would have immediately gotten off the train to get the full scoop and scope this guy out, but then I remembered that I was in Harlem. There is no way I am getting off the train in that neighborhood: man hanging from window sill or not. I will be scouring the papers the next few days looking for clues to my mystery man.

Only in New York kids, only in New York.

Jason + Marc Sitting in a Tree

So glad he is setting the record straight. My lovely friend Jason Preston is on Perez Hilton today. Now all he has to do is get rid of the potty mouth Plastic. We need to go to Bungalow again stat...Love you babe!

All is right with the world again!!!

Despite a false report today in the NY Daily News that they had broken up, style savior Marc Jacobs and his own private Idaho, Jason Preston, are still very much together.

Marc's man came to PerezHilton.com to set the record straight right.

He tells us, "Marc and I are still together & very happy. I was at the Out 100 party (over the weekend) with friends and Marc was not in town because he was in Paris working. He is now here in NYC and we are out & about putting all those rumours to rest. Much love!!! Keep up the hottest website. Love ya bitch!!"

And there you have it!!

We can go back to enjoying Jason's naked pictures now.